Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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