He is an equal opportunity slut.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
