I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
