p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."