there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
