go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
