I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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