Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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