She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
