The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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