google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
