i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize