he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
