So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
