Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
