come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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