why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
ok first of all what the fuck
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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