I wish I could teleport
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
