maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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