I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
