she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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