At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
