We named our party play list daddy issues
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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