The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
