dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
