Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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