I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
