Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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