i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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