I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
