The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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