so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
