the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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