Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
be right there i have to get my cape
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
