When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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