It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
