i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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