with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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