she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
