Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
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Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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