halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Blow job season was short but glorious.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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