omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
