I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
