he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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