I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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