Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.