No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!