to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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