Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
there is glitter all over my balls
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