Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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