Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Your cock deserves a montage
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
