i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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