So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
