Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
