You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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