Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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