She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
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Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
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he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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