The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
