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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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• (845): View more from New York

  im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate

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• (941): View more from Florida

  We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.

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