Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
