My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
