he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We need to get me chipped asap
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
