im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
