Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
