i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
