I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
