pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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