Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
