sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
