You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
